Choices
by Shelby95
Summary: Draco Malfoy fell in love with a beautiful Gryffindor, Alyssa Flynn. Their love was one of secret, and in the end... he would end up alone.


Choices is based upon the Harry Potter series written by JK Rowling. All characters and situations other than my own are sole property of Bloomsbury Publishing, Arthur A. Levine Books, and Raincoast Books [Copyright©1995 to present]

I walked down the faintly lit hallways of Hogwarts, my footsteps echoing against the brick walls and tall ceilings. I was alone, and I doubt anyone knew I was there; no windows, no doors. I turned my head around slightly, but continued walking forward. No, I was most certainly alone.

Walking in and out of winding hallways, I passed by rooms filled with herbs and dark arts before finally arriving to the Potion classroom. I placed my hand on the doorknob, sighing. How had I gotten here? This was wrong; sinful. I deserved to be perished, but my paper heart was forever aflame. The ashes of which should have come never did... and yet I still questioned myself, the spark showed that for once in my life, I was doing something right. Maybe.

I turned the ice cold doorknob and pushed the door open, walking in and closing it behind me. The classroom was pitch black - figures, it being about 11 o'clock at night. We could get in trouble, but the rush... the rush was thrilling.

A candle in the middle of the room was suddenly alit, yet no one showed themselves. I smirked, knowing she was here, lurking behind the shadows. I loosened my green tie from my neck and took off my jacket, folding it and placing it on what I thought was Professor Snape's desk. I reminded myself not to leave it.

"You're late," A voice spoke sensually within the room; although I couldn't exactly pinpoint where it was coming from, it seemed to be at least 10 feet away. I walked toward the candle in the dark, being careful not to run into desks or push over any cauldrons that were left out.

"Accident," I lied. I knew that being fashionably late was something that she hated, something that would drive her crazy. It could possibly the death of me... or it could be so much better than anything.

"Liar," Footsteps suddenly were loud inside the room, seeming to get closer and closer. I whipped my head to try and find where she was, yet my ears failed me, and the candle lit across the room was no use in preventing the incredulous darkness.

"I don't appreciate lying, Malfoy," Her breath was hot against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. I quietly inhaled, trying to pull myself together.

"I don't appreciate you, Flynn," I lied yet again. The lights instantaneously flickered on, and I turned around, being face to face with her. She wore a sleeveless, fitting black dress. Her body was cupped elegantly within the cotton fabric, accentuating her legs. Her brown hair naturally curled down her torso and her umber eyes poured into mine.

"Take it back," She said icily. I smirked, deciding to take my chances.

"And if I don't?" I teased, reaching a hand toward her. She pushed it back, then placed her hand on my stomach, sending me backward roughly before I hit a desk. Her face got dangerously close to mine - I could feel her breath upon my lips - before she responded.

"I'll make you regret it," I took in a hot breath, trying not to allow her allure to intoxicate me.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" An eerie silence withheld the room as she pondered over my question. Her eyes looked into mine, yet you could see her mind was elsewhere.

"Neither. It's an opportunity,"

"An opportunity for what?"

"For whatever you want, Mr. Malfoy," She told me hotly before she smashed her sultry lips into mine, causing me to moan out. I could feel her smirk in triumph as I wrapped my hands around her waist, giving into my desires. I could feel her hands slowly unbuttoning my shirt, her fingertips hot against my skin. Before she could get much farther, I stepped forward and thrust her upon the desk where I previously sat. She gasped as I pulled away, looking her in the eye.

"What if what I want is unholy?" I questioned, letting my hand settle upon the top of her skirt, slowly massaging her.

"Whatever you want," She told me in a whisper, following a victim to my game. I smirked as I lay her down against the desk, kissing her more passionately than ever before.

The candle had long burnt out, the lights turning off when Alyssa lost her concentration. I was standing, my back facing her, as I finished putting on my shirt. I left several buttons unbuttoned, and messed my hair up even more than before. As I was pulling my tie over my head, the previous stillness was broken by words I had not expected.

"You drive me crazy," Alyssa spoke softly from behind me. I turned around, smirking at her.

"Damn straight," I told her, kissing her lips roughly before I pulled away, trying to find my shoes.

"Draco," She spoke again. I rolled my eyes, not understanding why she needed to keep bothering me. Usually our meets were long, but wordless.

"Alyssa," I said without facing her, continuing to search for my shoes. I knew I had thrown them, but Jesus, I hadn't thought I'd thrown them that far...

"I love you," I stopped searching for my shoes, freezing at my spot. I allowed a moment to consider what she had just said. I love you. Words I don't think anyone had spoken to me in quite some time. Words that should not have been spoken; words that could ruin everything.

How had our 'meaningless' flings turned into something more? Hate turned into like which turned into lust... but it wasn't intended to turn into love. While I was working for the darkest mind in the history of magic, I couldn't risk anyone falling in love with me. It was too dangerous - for both of us.

It was when contemplating this, I realized I had allowed myself to step into love as well. Somewhere along the road, the weekly meetings turned into daily meetings, which turned into me not being able to take my eyes off of her in class, dreaming about her during my sleep, and writing her name sloppily across my notes. At some point, my cold stone heart broke, and those eyes of hers captivated my soul. Love.

I turned around, walking towards the naked beauty in front of me. I took in her figure, placing my hand upon her cheek, "This wasn't supposed to turn into anything,"

She tilted her head down, before quietly speaking, "I know, but it did. I love you,"

"Don't," I pulled my hand away forcefully and continued looking for my shoes. Anger filled my voice, covering up my emotions of regret.

"You think I want to love you, Draco?" Her voice echoed in the room, her fiery tongue piercing. I could hear her gathering her clothes, sloppily putting them on. By the time she started speaking again, she was fully dressed.

"You think I enjoy this? Knowing that I can look forward to having sex with you mysteriously in some abandoned classroom at night, but having to watch you all fucking day with that little whore Parkinson? Do you think I like lying in bed at night, closing my eyes to only picture your hands running over someone else's body, like you do all the time? I hate knowing that I've betrayed my friends, I hate knowing that in the middle of war I've practically chosen the dark side by sneaking off with you. I would give anything not to be in love with you; not to be caught staring at the back of your arrogant head during class or watching you as you put your clothes on! I'd give anything," She ended in a whisper, a single tear falling from her eye before she hastily wiped it.

I stayed silent as she stood in front of me. Several minutes passed without me responding and I could tell she was hurt by the way she stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door behind her. It wasn't until after she left I realized she had forgotten her friendship ring with Potter on the desk. I picked it, feeling the fake silver snake upon my fingertips, shoving it in my pocket.

I woke up the next morning, exhausted and battered. I had gotten little to no sleep, my mind constantly wandering back to those three rebellious words. I love you. Those words ruined everything, scratched against my being; they did not feel soft upon my touch, but as a thousand pricks upon my fingertips.

As I made my way down to The Great Hall, I saw Alyssa walking with her friends, Potter and Weasley. Granger seemed no where to be found - probably already in class, knowing her. Alyssa didn't look distressed, she didn't look like she had lost an ounce of sleep. A smile was placed upon her lips, her laughter filling the nearly empty corridor as Potter told a joke. It made me fill with anger, and I decided to make a scene.

"Potter," I called out, walking briskly behind them. The trio stopped dead in their tracks, all turning around. Alyssa avoided eye contact with me.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Potter looked irritated, his green eyes glaring into my blue ones.

"I found this," I pulled the ring out of my pocket, "in the Potions room. It has your name on it."

Potter looked at Alyssa, who seemed wide eyed. I smirked, keeping my demeanor strong.

"When were you in the potions classroom?" Potter asked Alyssa, who glanced at me and back at him.

"Last night, on my way to the Astronomy tower, I stopped by. I found a potion in the book I wanted to try. I must have taken it off and left it there," She said, snatching the ring out of my hand. Her slight touch sent a discrete shiver down my spine.

"What potion?" Potter asked, seeming skeptical of her story.

"Wolfsbane," She said, pulling a small vile out of her robe. It looked like Wolfsbane, and I wondered how she had gotten it.

"That's bloody wicked, Alyssa. I didn't know you could do that!" Weasley said, looking astonished.

"Well," I interrupted, "now that you three got your stupid little ring back, I'm off. Blood traitors," I ended in a whisper, whipping my robe and walking in the opposite direction.

I heard my name being called and footsteps running to catch me. I stopped and faced Alyssa as she stood in front of me.

"What the bloody hell was that all about? You couldn't have given that to me in private?" Irritation filled her voice as she looked me in the eye. I momentarily forgot what she was talking about, being pulled into her essence.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I felt that it was necessary for Potter to question your whereabouts,"

"Draco," She whispered, sounding sad, "what do you want from me?"

I took a moment to contemplate her question. What did I want from her? Everything. I wanted her body, her mind, her soul. I wanted her for myself and no one else. As I thought, I glanced at the boys waiting for her to finish her conversation.

"You should go meet your friends," I narrated, avoiding eye contact. Before she could respond, I continued to walk away as I had intended before.

"What do you want?" I barely heard her voice, and it sounded distressed. I chose not to turn around, not wanting to see her once more.

"You," I breathed, allowing my feet to walk away from her, wondering what I had done.

I didn't talk to her for the rest of the year, and when her beloved friend - Dumbledore - died she became even more disconnected than before. When she saw me, the look in her eyes was heart breaking, but I couldn't permit myself to stare at her for much longer than a couple seconds.

The night before we left Hogwarts for summer break, I spent my time in the Potions room. It was filled with memories both sweet and bitter, yet I attempted to focus on those that were more dulcet.

I heard the door open at around 1 in the morning, and I rotated toward it. Alyssa walked in, her feet clicking silently against the stone floor, her nightgown swishing lightly as she walked toward me.

"Alyssa," My voice spoke before my brain was able to stop it. She continued walking to me, and soon she was within only a couple inches of me.

"Don't talk," She said right before she placed her lips upon mine. It had been months since I had felt her touch me like that, since I had the privilege to run my hands through her brunette hair. Since I had the privilege to make love to her.

And afterwards, we lay against the icy floor, our breathing uneven, our minds clouded. Her hand was intertwined with mine, her touch searing against my skin.

"I want to be with you," I told her. She stayed silent. I tried again.

"I love you," My lips felt awkward saying a phrase I had never said before, yet it felt right saying it to her. I could hear her turning her body toward me, her hands resting against my chest.

"Don't," She repeated the word I had said to her many months before when she told me the same, and I sighed heavily, yet staying hushed.

"It's a war, Draco," she spoke it as a question, yet I knew it was not, "and I refuse to side with Him,"

"If only I had that choice,"

She lifted her head and kissed my lips tenderly, before standing up and slipping her clothes back on her cold body. I watched in a trance, and it wasn't until she spoke her last words to me, that I was pulled back into reality.

"You have to make a choice, Draco. No matter what your choice may be, I plan on fighting with Harry. I will stay loyal to my friends. To what is right. But I will forever love you; and maybe after the war, if we win, we can be together."

I stared as she swayed walking out of the room, yet again leaving me feeling empty inside. This scene had been played before, yet this time, it felt more devastating than before.

I never spoke to her again. The last time I saw her was at the Battle of Hogwarts at the end of the war. She looked different, a certain glow that took upon her essence. She caught eyes with me once, her umber eyes having a slight spark, yet mostly emptiness. She smiled, then continued to fight off Bellatrix, who would end her within a matter of minutes.

It wasn't until after, watching the bodies in The Great Hall - the same hall I had once eaten in, which now housed sorrow and regret - that I learned she had married George Weasley, who mourned over both his wife and his brother. I walked toward him, standing behind him as he sobbed. When he noticed me, he didn't give me an angry, yet witty, response. He looked me in the eye, and spoke words that had more passion in them than I had ever heard before.

"She was pregnant," He wiped his eyes, looking down at her once more. I looked at her, and noticed that she did have a slightly bump. It made me sad to think my cousin first removed had done that to her, killed a beautiful woman. A beautiful soul.

"She told me about you two. She told me about your entire history," George nodded, avoiding eye contact with me, "I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye."

I didn't say anything and attempted to smother the emotions that overwhelmed my soul. I took a step backward, and walked out of The Great Hall. And as I passed by

dejected families, I knew I had made the wrong choice.

She should have been my reason. Yet I made a choice, and now she was dead. Only to rot in the ground. And now, no matter what, I would live a life in which my soul felt alone. She was my first love, my only hope throughout that war, and now that she was gone, my empty arms would forever reach out for her, only to be rejected.


End file.
